outbreak.girl

outbreakgirl @ 2005-06-07T23:34:00

2005-07-07T03:47:21Z

some of my new favorite things:

WELFARE MONDAYS. in celebration of my new roomates welfare status we have declared mondays, welfare mondays. the goal of welfare mondays is to spend as little as possible. we start off the evening by riding our bikes, the most fun and least expensive way to travel around the city. then we take a trip down to the royal where we use our connections to sneak into the theater for free movies. afterwards we share milkshakes at frans diner, followed by some more midnight biking and a trip down to the pool at dundas and bathurst for free swimming. plenty of good clean innexpensive fun!!

Phillis. we found an abandoned mannequin torso on the side of the road. she is our muse. we take turns dressing her and sing songs about her long into the night. her face is frightfully disturbing.

beans. our adopted cat. he came from downstaires and now he wont leave us alone. but we don't mind.

outbreakgirl @ 2005-04-17T18:14:00

2005-04-17T22:16:08Z

Touching the balls of a dead boy
(A useless gesture)

outbreakgirl @ 2005-03-13T21:50:00

2005-03-14T02:51:07Z

Pedro
Sweet! You scored 78%

So you're one of the coolest guys in the school. I mean you have like Pinatas and stuff and you basically are like Napoleon's best friend. You almost stole his girl which wasn't cool but he helped you get president and now he's your bodyguard. So that's pretty sweet.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 18% on skills

Link: The OG Napoleon Dynamite Test written by DaOgre on Ok Cupid

a short science fiction:

2005-02-17T22:33:52Z

The Knesken sun shone aggressively and purposefully down on the organic life forms that inhabited the small and just recently existing planet of the seventh and a half dimension. Lucifer, the Carrot-Weevil gazed at the yellow-mauve atmosphere and felt completely puzzled by his existence for the third time since his inexplicable materialization on this planet; which occurred almost five and a quarter days ago. Unbeknownst to him, Lucifer’s existence was the product of a vivid daydream formed in the consciousness of a remarkably indifferent fleshy life form. The planet he now inhabited came about during a lengthy dicussion about the importance of investing wisely. Lucifer was not alone in his confusion; a small group of Yellow Bellied Horn Scuttlers, horned sewer rats with crab-like appendages, were feeling equally befuddled as they went on their newly formed daily routine. They circled constantly, endeavoring to make friends with any creature that stepped within their bounds, and then excreted garish fluids which inflamed the nostrils of any animal unlucky enough to cross their path. The problem on this planet was that, by completely bypassing the long, tricky - some might say necessary - process of evolution, none of its species had the slightest clue what to do with themselves. So after the first day; the day they call: the day of intermittent eye flapping, an entire day comprised of blinking at each other in unreserved disbelief; they began, in an effort to avoid dying out, arbitrarily declaring names for themselves and determining what their diet and individual characteristics should be.

In one instance, the Great Grunting Saber-Possum decided that, despite not having any means of doing so, it would be known for its great flying abilities. And since neither physics nor logic applied on Kneska, it at once began to soar across the spans of the vast, foul smelling desert in search of prey which it decided would be the Lumber-Wolf, a highly academic, axe-wielding wolf-creature, normally well disposed to just about everyone, except the Great Grunting Saber Possum, who would circle above him and swoop down regally just when the Lumber-Wolf happened to be engaged in pleasant conversation. This made the Lumber-Wolf abnormally irritable, and as a sort of ineffectual revenge he began writing filthy poems about the Saber-Possum, which he kept entirely to himself.

Lucifer the Carrot-Weevil was the only one of his species, at least at this point in the story, and it should be made clear that he did not in fact resemble anything akin to a carrot or weevil, but was a magnificently awkward skeletal giant covered in green, fibrous, flat matter that all the other animals envied for it’s reflective qualities. He established his ill-fitting title after mishearing a conversation between two thickly orange fur covered rodents, and in a fit of panic, thinking that all the really good names had been taken, declared himself King of the Carrot-Weevils.

to be continued

outbreakgirl @ 2004-12-13T17:04:00

2004-12-13T22:07:15Z

the man at the paint store was mad at
me because HE mixed the paint wrong.
then i lost $30. then i retraced my
steps, until my hands got too cold.
the food in the fridge better last
me these next two days. SHITTY.

adrienne.

hello, i would like everyone to meet...

2004-12-10T00:12:49Z

ian curtis

my hot dead boyfriend.

outbreakgirl @ 2004-12-09T18:57:00

2004-12-10T00:02:23Z

Man not contended: snake swollows elephant.

outbreakgirl @ 2004-12-08T19:31:00

2004-12-09T00:32:59Z

Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.

HOT GOSSIP

2004-11-23T00:05:51Z

well you heard it here first folks....

things with my significant other took a terrible turn for the worse, and come january, i'll be needing a new roomie! any takers?

outbreakgirl @ 2004-11-07T20:30:00

2004-11-08T01:33:09Z

MMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEED OUT!!
new location 412 spadina
2nd floor above the thai bangkok restaurant!

if you are in the neighborhood, VISIT!
ps: if you want 10% off thai food, i'll hook you up!

outbreakgirl @ 2004-10-16T19:12:00

2004-10-16T23:17:14Z

for shame. yesterday i bailed out yet again on friday night social obligations.
it's not you guys i swear. it's me! i'm moving, getting over a nasty cold and working
more than would like to be... but i promise, once i'm back to full health, gotten used
to being a work slave for my scary boss and am fully moved into the new habitat, i'll
be ready to get face in the gutter, boy leering, pass out in the bathtub drunk ;)

no internet...

2004-09-11T02:18:33Z

is such a bummer...
i type this from a web cafe.

Disaster Area...

2004-08-30T02:50:21Z

is the name of my new hot pink entertainment system!

and just so you know...
Disaster Area is...

A plutonium rock band from the Gagrakacka Mind Zones, they are generally held to be not only the loudest rock band in the Galaxy, but in fact the loudest noise of any kind at all. Regular concert goers judge that the best sound balance is usually to be heard from within large concrete bunkers some thirty-seven miles from the stage, while the musicians themselves play their instruments by remote control from within a heavily insulated spaceship which stays in orbit around the planet – or more frequently around a completely different planet. Their songs are on the whole very simple and mostly follow the familiar theme of boy-being meets girl-being beneath a silvery moon, which then explodes for no adequately explored reason. Many worlds have now banned their act altogether, sometimes for artistic reasons, but most commonly because the band’s public address system contravenes local strategic arms limitations treaties. This has not, however, stopped their earnings from pushing back the boundaries of pure hypermathematics, and their chief research accountant has recently been appointed Professor of Neomathematics at the University of Maximegalon, in recognition of both his General and Specific Theories of Disaster Area Tax Returns, in which he proves that the whole fabric of the space-time continuum is not merely curved, it is in fact totally bent.

employed. comic expo.

2004-08-26T04:28:39Z

next week i start work at twice as nice in kensington market.
this weekend i will buy toys and nerd books in celebration.

HATE!

2004-08-10T04:20:35Z

today:

thanx for the pity party today matt. strangly enough. i'm in a better mood. not stellar. but better.

work in progress...

2004-08-04T01:24:01Z

one day every home will have one of these.

2004-08-03T19:46:41Z

<---new best friend

hate.

2004-08-03T19:42:05Z

this is how today went:

essay of disaster!

2004-07-23T22:37:46Z

++

+++

i'm expected to come up with a intelligent, coherent review of tank girl's odyssey by comparing it to Homer's Odyssey and James Joyces Ulysses. it will be ineteresting if nothing else.

Page 92.

2004-07-23T21:59:33Z

i don't care if it's in oprah's fucking bookshelf, i started reading this yesterday and it's good.

today was a good day.

2004-07-23T21:50:54Z

1. Jared finally bought me that Large Vaniila Bean Chillate he owed me
after making and losing a bet to see who did worse on an art history exam
last semester. foolishly he makes the same bet again today.

2. failed attempts to create a captivating picture story with jared and matt proves to be entertaining nonetheless.

3. sneaky matt takes pictures of paserbys rear ends.

4. sign up for hello kitty e-mail. (my new address is outbreak@hellokitty.com)

5. three new mitch reccords:

Sing along with mitch

Sentimental sing along with mitch

and fireside sing along with mitch

6. ugly bathroom art.

7. Buy the books:

merchant of venice, the i hate to cook book, and how to build a working digital computer from 1976

8. bag full o clothes from by the pound

look at my trash!

2004-07-21T16:28:43Z

some people buy lottery tickets, some poeple buy expensive coffee.

with my spare change, i buy this:

weirdo science fiction novels from 1977.

let me die gives case histories of desperatly sick people who
have sought to end their lives. in reccounting succesful
attempts, the book gives the precise doses of drugs used.
basically it's a do it yourself SUICIDE MANUAL.

the clerk at the counter:
"of all the people i pictured buying this, you wern't one of them"

at-home-homework-day!

2004-07-21T15:49:52Z

really it's just eat-shit-and-sleep-day....
but i'll still probably get more done here
than i will at day care (george brown).

we want you....

2004-07-16T05:17:44Z

to live in the LARGEST room of a three-bedroom apartment, located only minutes from downtown toronto!!

WITH US!!

260 wellesley street e
phone us at:
416-935-0507 (ask for james or adrienne)
or e-mail us at:
outbreakgirl@hotmail.com (adrienne)
graymalkin_10@hotmail.com (james)

--> a majestic view of the toronto skyline

(view from balcony)

(the view below)

--> acceptant of all cultures and creeds

--> conversant in the classics

--> state of the art entertainment center, guarded by patrick stewart himself

--> HOT BALCONY ACTION!

--> vermin free

--> sing alongs with mitch (optional)

(mitch's awesome sing along reccord pictured above)

SEE YOU HERE!

other shit i bought today...

2004-07-15T20:30:27Z

a bizarre posed bear picture to compliment my new plate.

and if you like this reccord don't forget to buy his other "heart-warming collections"...
*sing along with mitch
*christmas sing along with mitch
*saturday night sing along with mitch
*STILL MORE! sing along with mitch
*folk songs sing along with mitch
*PARTY sing along with mitch
*fireside sing along with mitch

'nuff said.